


Fuck it away

by Enochianess



Series: Gallavich Week 2015 [3]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Child Abuse, Episode Related, GW2015, Gallavich Week, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Missing Scene, Prostitution, Rape Aftermath, Sad, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 21:07:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4194933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enochianess/pseuds/Enochianess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gallavich Week - Day 3: Missing scene</p><p>"Ride him 'til he likes it, suka."</p><p>He could smell her on him. Sweat. Come. Cheap perfume.<br/>Mickey wanted to wash the whole thing off. But he knew he couldn't. If he went and showered now, Terry would get mad. Terry would try and kill him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck it away

_"She's gonna fuck the faggot out of you, kid."_

_"Ride him 'til he likes it,_ _suka."_

 

Mickey felt dirty. He didn't know how else to describe it. He wanted to scrub at his skin until it all came off, until it was pink and bloody and raw. 

He could smell her on him. Sweat. Come. Cheap perfume. 

Mickey wanted to wash the whole thing off. But he knew he couldn't. If he went and showered now, Terry would get mad. Terry would try and kill him. 

Mickey was  _straight._ Mickey was supposed to like being covered in the remnants of their fuck. He was supposed to revel in it. He was supposed to be satisfied by the stench of sex on him. He was supposed to wear it like a fucking medal. 

And he did, usually. When he walked around smelling of sweat and sex and  _Ian._

He fucking loved it when he could smell Ian on him after they'd banged. He loved how his shirt would shift and catch on the fresh cuts Ian's fingernails had made when he came. He loved how he could press his fingers against the bruises Ian's lips had made across his chest. He loved anything that reminded him of when they'd last fucked. But he also loved Ian. He also  _wanted_ Ian.

Mickey had not wanted Svetlana.

The moment he could get away, he practically ran into his bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind him. He pulled his drawers open roughly, barely managing to stop them from flying out the wooden case. He pulled on some boxers, socks, sweatpants, a long-sleeved shirt, a hooded sweatshirt. He wanted to cover himself, hide. He wasn't sure what from, but he needed to hide his skin, hide the whole fucking thing.

He pulled the hood over his head and clambered into bed, pulling the comforter up over him until he was completely cocooned in darkness. He tried to push his face into the mattress but he immediately yanked his head backwards with a yelp. His face felt like it was broken. He lifted a hand to brush over the wounds, wincing the moment his fingers made contact. The digits came back wet, undoubtedly stained red with blood. He clenched his hands into fists, his nails cutting deep crescent-shaped marks into his palms as he willed himself to keep it together, to not let himself crumble.

He couldn't get the image of Ian's face out of his head when the Russian whore was riding him. His puppy-face completely devastated, his eyes pained beyond belief, his head shaking as he tried to keep the tears at bay. Mickey thought he'd be able to take it if Ian hadn't been there to watch. Mickey never should have invited him over. Just because Terry was gone, didn't mean he wasn't just as much of a threat. Terry was always there, just waiting. One day, Mickey was sure Terry would kill him. He never should have brought Ian into that. Ian never should have been there.

And to make matters worse, Mickey's phone won't stop fucking going off. He keeps getting texts and phone calls from Ian. One after the other, over and over.

Eventually, he can't ignore the bleeping anymore and he throws it forcefully at the wall. He's only marginally satisfied when it smashes and finally falls silent. He can't talk to Ian. Not now. Maybe not ever again. But he wants to. Shit, he wants to. 

Mickey wants to run to him. Tell him he's sorry he had to see that. Tell him everything was going to be okay. 

Mickey wants to kiss him. Touch him. Fuck him until he doesn't look so fucking heart-broken anymore. 

But he can't. Mickey can't.

Mickey never can again.

And it kills him, because, he fucking  _wants_ so fucking badly. 

He just wants Ian.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to contact me: http://enochianess.tumblr.com


End file.
